I feel like death. And death is wearing a fleece blanket as a dress. And is seriously contemplating wearing this to go get something to eat.
No, I was feeling sad because all of the other girls were like model-skinny. But then I remembered that I had big boobs and went to hit on their boyfriends.
so today I found out that she used to be a he....
are you gonna get a divorce?
My roomate just said the he would "tap dat" to the 13 out of control girl on maury. Im finding a new place in the morning.
The house is trashed, there is porn scattered everywhere like an easter egg hunt and the blow up doll is sleeping on the couch downstairs. someone covered her up.
porn star boner night. come get it.
You dont lie about slip and slides
Well. I guess talking about me stealing your wife may not be in the list of legit conversations
He is 30 (that's 8 years older than I am) and uses more Emojis than I do. Problem?
why do guys have to express their feelings when they know your seeing someone else ? I fucked him anyways to make him feel better , and to know what he's missing.
I snuck in through the doggy door to get his vodka. Do you think my ex will know?
Refresh my memory....were we forced to leave or did we choose to leave?
You're even getting laid in my dreams, god I'm a good wingman
sorry i was ignoring you last night i accidentally did a bunch of pcp and thought i was inside tron
idk he wanted to trade sex for a triple order of hashbrowns
AND YOU SAID NO?????????
Randomize
