i was shrooming and she was sobbing. i was trying to be sympathetic, but i could see the veins working like worms under her skin. and then her face stripped down to the muscle.
what was she crying about?
i wanna say it was the lack of skin on her face but maybe she lost her job.
he told me it was because of the roids, but i couldn't tell if he meant ster or hem.
you threw your tampon into someones open car window...while they were driving.
Im going to need an iv of taco bell after this.
This from the guy I found eating salad out of a pot lid in his boxers on his porch last night.
When I found her she was drinking wine out of a plastic bag in a bathroom stall, staring at herself in the mirror and crying hysterically. Cabo does things to a person...
in case you were wondering, even a BJ under a blanket on the back of a bus only lifts a 14-hour bus ride to borderline tolerable.
I'm almost too hungover to function. Got into the wrong car by mistake. there was a rotweiler in it. Thank god he was more confused than i was for a minute.
As the cops are taking us away I see the strippers taking our DD backstage.
I just got a lap dance from a kid in the coconut bra... So not drunk enough for this.
With everyone putting up pictures of their moms on Facebook it's time to go single MILF hunting.
First week is awesome. Freshman girls prancing around everywhere like newborn baby deer looking for a dick to jump on
The parents I babysit for are at this orgy. I need to leave.
I saw a drunk guy run across the street with an American flag between his buttcheeks.
I apparently sent an offer letter to, and then subsequently onboarded, the wrong candidate. How's your Monday?
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