Let's make love on the newspapers that declare financial doomsday
you're putting all your eggs in a very hungover basket
Oh shit. The kids are pole dancing on a broom. It's like I'm seeing my future offspring before my eyes.
what part of what i said meant "bring a bowl"
"bouncy castle"
I'm not leaving bed today. And i guess my drunken ass last night hit my roommate in the face with a tiki torch then proceeded to cry while carrying around a picture of he who must not being name. I'm a piece of work.
The cops knocked on our door just to ask us if we were really having a no-pants party.
well the blowjob for study guide exchange was a success.
I think he's having people over to watch him get way too drunk again
I'll be gone when you wake up but you hit a girl so I knocked you out. Never hit a girl. Unless it's with your penis.
I just did something so unspeakable in the panera bathroom that their health score dropped 10 points.
Well I was going to go home but vodka happened.
I was in a penguin suit. Dick out. I am confident in the value of my pic.
I'm drunk listening and crying to Selena. How's your Monday?
I have no regard for my liver, you should know this.
Let's just face it you're going to have an arrangement with your future wife your fuck me on Thursdays
Randomize
