Hey, It's Lauren. i wanted to talk to you tonight. I like you, as you know because kyle told you. I was wondering if you liked me too?
Are you in the third fucking grade? Check yes or no.
and you said cock pushups were impossible
a slip n slide in 50degree weather was the 2nd dumbest thing i have ever done. the 1st was hitting the wooden fence i believed was supposed to "help us stop"
I have your camera. You have 35 naked pictures of me. you're welcome.
I am drunk at a castle and it isn't even 3. Europe is amazing.
Dude... Hand job in the lake... It was as weird as it sounds.
is it sad that i can describe this night as "the night that i was sober" and we all know which night it was. like literally one night of sobriety.
what kind of roommate is she really? she wouldn't even hold my hair back.
Remembering I sold my brand new Blackberry to a stranger for a few pints = Worst night of my life. Now to work out what I did with my shoes.
They should incorporate dolphins into professional surfing
I said no to friends with benefits because it was too much commitment
im about to go through the checkout with 3 flasks and a wedding card. let the judgement begin!
update: cashier guessed cash bar before i could say anything. completely bypassed "dry" and knew cash bar right away. i love this state.
After she got off the phone with her mom she sprinted down the block screaming "I'M SO GOOD AT BEING A HUMAN!!!!!!!!!!!!!"
Eaten today: granola bar, pumpkin donut, and fritos. Oh, college nutrition.
someone is getting fuckign RAWDOGGED on this campus as we speak and it makes me FURIOUS
Randomize
