Hello, balls-out mistake. It's been a while.
and technically it was a rebound
so lol
and then you got rebounded for the same girl he rebounded you for and still never scored ... it was like watching an LA Clippers game
please come get me his dick is out. i'm sitting on his couch and his dick is out. come now
I went from a chick that didn't like to have sex to one that can't get enough of it. I can't believe I'm going to say this but at 27 I think I need a happy medium
I never had a problem I couldn't slut my way out of.
I sorta feel bad for the actual person in my fake id that got a drunk in public charge.
I might be a bit. I accidently started hot boxing the bathroom. I'm just gonna go with it.
Having him as a wingman is like telling the girl you already have aids
You were jumping on the trampoline and screaming that you couldn't feel the fire.
You know what's fun. When your getting a new mattress and you forget you put your vibrator under your old mattress and the moving guy finds it
Well I'm a full service fuck buddy so lemme know if I can get you food or water or anything
Pretty sure I just scored Election Day sex based on the theory that if either of these fools win the world as we know it is over so we might as well get a few orgasms in...
I walk into the pharmacy and I'm like "I need three morning after pills" and the guy was like "uhhhh". All I said was "we didn't plan it, we all just got laid the same night"
she stuffed her marc jacobs purse full of cereal
classy
Tequila. The ruiner of all good intentions.
Randomize
