eh.. i should've known it was headed downhill after he used the phrase "pussy sundae"
Aren't I supposed to sit on your face?
It was like a spaceship landed and 1000s of hipsters filled up the park
FYI: Do not ever call any girl a thundercunt as a form of dirty talk.
My RA tried to compliment my pong tables design after he confiscated it
I know it may not be fiscally responsible to pregame fifty cent night, but I'm gonna go ahead and do it anyway.
and apparently i was drunk enough to follow up with "I'd let me touch your boobs" ... not my best line.
We had a long talk in which he told me he respects me more than any other girl. 30 minutes later, I got a facial.
You refused to come over and kept yelling that you were gonna sleep on a car
thanks for at least making it out of the pool before you threw up
I have nothing to lose. And a bunch of dick to gain.
Jesus Christ I am the crazy cat lady of vibrators
I found three naked dudes in your bed this morning. Did we have a really weird break in or do you need to tell me something?
We are no longer allowed to make spur of the moment decisions about our love lives
ABSOLUTELY NOT
Plus we had to have sex before the game because there is a good chance we won’t be speaking for the rest of the week. #ironbowl
Randomize
