I'm playing a drinking game with nyc prep. This will not end well for meeee
Everytime the gay dude pretends he's not gay, drink a cosmo. Everytime the crosseyed girl is crosseyed, kill her
Just saw a white stretch Hummer limo outside of CiCi's pizza. Way to live up to the stereotypes, Alabama.
Thanks for holding onto me so I didn't fall in my pee in that parking lot. You're the best boyfriend ever.
People were autographing me. I'm like the spring break yearbook
I was. I was trying to blow bubbles in the toilet after I threw up in it. They had to carry me everywhere. I lost a sock.
he doesn't drink and he's an emt - he'll be our dd for nye in exchange for a threesome tomorrow afternoon.
Thanks for not stopping me when I decided to call my mom at 2 in the morning to ask her where I was born
hey, its the girl who gave you a bloody nose and paid you back with a blow job. have you seen my shoes?
You told me to pour the Gatorade on you "like Flashdance"
I'm in the Wal Mart stall where we found out you weren't pregnant. This is where I'm going to propose to you. I feel like that would be the most romantic
I blacked out at work again... Except this time my boss watched me throw up by the bus stop and some woman let me sleep on her shoulder for an hour. Why does this keep happening?
I don't know if the fact that I carry lube in my purse means I'm living life right or I'm doing it wrong..
Is it a bad thing for a seven year old to call one an alcoholic? Asking for a friend..
It's brunch. If you find dick at brunch. You an A+ hoe.
If sending nudes to tinder boy is considered functional then yes.
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