U Should have said " it's ok baby most girls Sh*t when I do that.
Threw my underwear in my purse as I was running away after sex last night, went to pick up my birth control prescription this morning, took out my wallet and accidentally flung my sweet thong onto the counter in front of the cashier. Think that was the universes way of telling me I am a whore.
my cup is half full, half full of rum.
I only made out with him because he cured my hiccups
I made him a flow chart of what to do if I got arrested.
Why is hotel staff askin about the blood in our room
You mAke me stone. Stone fuck fucking stoned. I'm an stoned you cuz now fucking stoned stoned fucking stoned I stone.
She insisted on cleaning her room in the dark. 5 minutes in, she forgot what she was doing and started putting shirts on instead of hanging them up.
I just called the on campus pharmacy and asked the pharmacist to tell me how each one of my medications will react with "excess alcohol consumption". And I'm not even ashamed...I've reached a new low.
You stared at the ground for like 20 minutes willing yourself to get sober
And think got sick again from going outside naked. Word to all females...don't try the naked trench coat thing.
This drive is very scenic
And I'm chugging whiskey in the back
As you should, soak in all this country has to offer
Well now you know not to take drugs from your friends. Take it from stangers. They're more reliable.
Let's be honest, I've seen a decent amount of dicks in my life and very few of them have been worth all the trouble.
learning about efficiency and effectiveness in an administration seminar. real world application: walking across the street to the pub on break to shotgun a beer.
Randomize
