If I saw her on the street and didn't know about the two of them, I would think the only way she'd ever find love was if she somehow found her way to middle earth and an orc took her in
we just fucked in the mcds parking lot
wasnt he a virgin
yes we got celebratory milkshakes after
Blood drive hookups: you will probably faint during the sex, but at least you know neither of you has AIDS
Just had a handjob preempted by a huge bolt of static electricity leaping from her fingertip to my sack. I hate this time of year.
Aside from the fact that there's a penis in my mouth, that's a pretty good picture of me
I'm functioning at the level of a challenged walrus.
the two person party stopped when i realized that he tried to throw a hammer at my head.
Underwear, t-shirt, bottle of Pinot Grigio and Golden Girls. I've hit a new level of homosexual.
Oh and my new excuse for not being able to hook up is cholera, feel free to use it
He needs to respect me before he can fuck me with cat ears on.
All I remember is this kid kept saying that he has a dream that white kids and black kids can take shots together as one, and just we'd keep drinking to that.
It would only make sense that I'd cheat on him with his best friend on the ides of march...
I borrowed a glass of wine. And the bottle. Your cat said it was ok
I am significantly less than sober now. Gonna make like, ten hotdogs.
You have to summon your inner elephant
Randomize
