Apparently I climbed into a dryer last night and refused to leave... There are pictures to prove it
I was thinking Sara Jessica Parker was hot. That high.
It's going to be great. We're a perfect team to break up marriages and happiness.
just fucked two guys in less than 12 hours. i miss this part of being single.
and by single i mean slutty
i'm sick of coming in second next to bourbon.
Drunk me Does not appreciate a drunk, naked you kicking me off the couch at 3am. You have a bed here, you dick
Had a guy offer me a shot. But he wimped out when I asked for tequila and instead ordered gummi bear shots. I don't think he has balls. I didn't stick around to find out.
Just figured out my hair is long enough to tie my wrists together. . .get over here NOW!
it's not like I want to die, I just want life to stop for a little bit. how does that work?
I like how I just yelled in the window at Mcdonalds drive thru, got his number and then fucked. it was like I ordered a happy meal that only can be had after midnight.
Alvin just won tickets on the radio. I guess he's out of jail.
I feel like I might be the only person I know who eats bundles of radishes in-between orgasms from their vibrator.
It's hard not to feel like a terrible person with bruises on your tits.
Good news! Blood’s flowing!
My favourite part was when you contorted upside down in the tub and said "I don't want to be upside down"
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