I just googled maps his house, and took the virtual tour back to my apartment, just so I could visualize the walk of shame in the morning
I hope you shit your pants in a socially devastating situation.
Iiiiiii almost fall ib the lake
he was so nervous about his first time.. it was like michael j. fox trying to put on a condom...
Thank GOD those kids were having a lemonade stand, I didn't have anything to wash down my plan b with.
Sudden realization: I dumped him because he was too immature, yet I am the one who moved back into my parent's basement post-breakup.
Yeaaah. I'm kinda wary about that guy. Does he still have that taser that he found on the train?
Hahah what did you even say to him?!
That I was gonna inflate his vagina with a leaf blower?
Oh.
Going to the u of w I constantly have that moment of, oh hey I felt you up at that rave at folk fest that one time. Winnipeg is too small.
Today I left one job interview, showed up randomly at his house for a midday bootycall then left right after to attend my second job interview. I got both jobs
Omg one of the midgets from last night just added me to Facebook.
I think the biggest problem with being overhigh is when the kitchen was on fire and I was pointing and laughing and eating rootbeer oreos like it was fucking Ozzfest 2000
Can you come get me? I woke up in the woods behind the Super 8. I have pizza.
So unofficially, he told me he deleted tinder because of me. I think that's a pretty romantic gesture in 2018.
So you're saying that I ended up challenging a dude to Uno then proceed to punch them in the face?
Randomize
