i just made a list of the people i have slept with. is it bad that some of them are just either names of the places i met them or the color of the shirts?
i also rounded the number up for good measure. i am sure there are a few i have forgotten about.
He looked me in the chest and said "I think I was visited by the titty fairy last night"
My RA just tried to write me up for having sex too loudly during quiet hours.
I told him I wanted to have sex to "halleluiah", he suggested the poke-rap.
Your friend who drunkenly cleaned the kitchen just wished the class a Happy National Tutu Day. While wearing a tutu. Make a move or I'm gonna marry her.
Thanks to you and Ketel One I now have a court summons with the actual word "frolicking" on it.
Next time I feel awkward in a situation I'm going to just yell "free bird!!!!" Like some redneck at lynyrd skynyrd show
you really need to remember next time not to write your name and phone number on the paper its wrapped in.
But what if it got lost?
its illegal. you dont want people to contact you if they find it.
we received free cupcakes at the first bar, and then I at the second bar i hooked up with a fat chick from Cincinnati on the patio.
you win some, you lose some.
You are under a naked attack watch for the whole weekend. Shelter in place.
downside - we got stuck at the intersection before the santa clause parade started and had to wait for it to end. upside - i got frontrow seats and a blow job to the santa clause parade.
Drove by a guy getting road head, midday on O Street. That could be us, but you won't let me in your pants when you drive.
The fact that you screamed, "Alf is my spirit animal!" is proof enough that we're too old for peyote.
All you have to drink is moonshine and ranch. This is bullshit.
Magyver!
Turns out naked yoga wasn't a pickup line. I feel betrayed.
Randomize
