there's paper in my vomit.
so apparently mom and dad slept together on the first date
i guess it runs in the family.
i wish the dell website had a "did you drink an entire bottle of rum and stepped on your laptop which shattered the screen this weekend and would like to know how to fix it without your parents finding out FAST?" link on their homepage.. i can't be the only one
Just calculated that for my last final tomorrow I need 120% to improve my grade and 53% to keep it..buying 30 packs now, go get dressed
I want to apologize in advance in the event I put my boobs in your face
Dont worry about the blood on the pillow. its from my face.
Hypothetical question: If a guy wanted to watch you fuck me, would you be willing to take a long lunch break on Wednesday?
No. My vagina is not the scapegoat for your poor decisions.
Then she cat effected the picture of my dick I sent her the other night. I'm in love.
So who won the naked front yard Olympics last night?
Well my tits are spray painted gold & i have what i think r the Olympic rings shaved in my vag !!!!!!!SO its safe to say i won something ....
I don't care how fucking drunk you are, you don't forget wanting to shove a wine bottle up someone's ass.
First encounter with a mirco peen. I was confused when he said he doesnt go down on girls. Cmon dude, practice on a peach.
I'm serenading his dick with my words. I understand how poets get inspiration now.
he is sitting in the driveway by himself laughing at nothing, idk what to do
Thanks for going with me today. It’s been a long time since I bought bra and panties because of a guy
It’s called “shopping for lingerie” and it’s one of the many exciting and sexy things that follow a divorce, along with sexting, sleepovers, and orgasms
But, our next lesson is picking up a younger guys at the bar!
Randomize
