we used that portable toilet as a cooler to keep coronas. next person who tells me hospitals arn't fun needs to come party in rm 180.
Whatever, you were 10 deep and there was a hot tub. No judgment.
halloween makes it hard to decipher real cops... from sexy men dressed up as them.
My fucking roommate unpluged my alarm; I pissed on his clean clothes.
i dont care about people's attitudes as long as they give me head
He told me he wanted to break up so he could get "closer to God."
Does God suck his dick?
In all seriousness...vodka, almond milk and chocolate syrup make a decent white russian.
Bro I am trying to have one night stands nothing more, unless she is baking waffles I can eat out of her butthole I am not interested
I just did a Kegel and my back popped. My vagina is a gift to penises everywhere.
I asked you if you needed a ride and you kept saying "no, my name is katelyn"
How do i politely tell him his dick looks like it went thru a meat grinder?
Just found out my rents have been paying my siblings to cockblock me for the past 5 years
Not as covert as you thought huh?
Why was I drunk tweeting incorrect Beyonce lyrics last night?
I'm going to a one year olds birthday party to smoke weed. What has my life become.
Talked a police officer into driving us the 1/2 mile home from the bars because we didn't want to walk. I never knew the back of cop Cars had plastic seats.
Randomize
