when does round two start
I don't know, I gave up bartenders for lent
i asked him to tell me something nice and he said "your vagina is really tight."
i love my job...i have craft hour at my desk w twizzlers
can u grab me a application
the guy working at the drive-thru just asked me if i wanna bang after he gets off work tonight.
given your current drought situation, im genuinely curious to know what your answer was
i told him maybe and gave him my number. sad? probably. but even if the sex is bad maybe i'll get a free burger out of it
The bottle I was drinking out of splintered on the bottom, there was glass in my hand, I pulled it out with my teeth... Not the best night for Drunk Kevin
I am going to wait until he wakes up to set his couch on fire and then pee it out. That way he knows it was not an accident.
not saying it was a bad idea to throw an impromptu party but someone stole the microwave
At my eighteen year old cousin's wedding. Getting hit on by a 9 year old. No one knows who he came with. I'm pretty sure he just showed up from the field behind the church. Help.
I walked into my house with my pants inside out, no shoes and a limp. My mom asked me if I had fun but I passed out before I could reply...
The bartender had to walk me home last night. New high or new low?
Do one night stands count towards my number?
Yes. A penis is a penis
Even bad ones?
YES.
I've found my soulmate with the cardboard Dos Equis man.
So... In conclusion, do I bring my vibrator and risk not only having it getting taken out at security, but also exposing my dad to my neon green vibrator, or just leave it here?
You blacked out at 9:30 and insisted on sleeping in the hallway after you chugged an entire pitcher of beer. I guess the Jell-O shots were stronger than we thought...
My trash can accurately represents my weekend: Bojangles wrappers and magnums.
Randomize
