I had to get a ride home from that girl that slept with 3/4 of the band
He muttered something about having just washed he sheets, then demanded I give him all my quarters.
Do brothers usually kiss their sisters?
9 am. shotgunning while conditioning my hair. i love college football season.
we need blinds so i can safely watch porn during the day
We tried to play doctor all sexually then he was taking down my 'symptoms' I said I needed to puke he thought it was part of the game
i convinced her i was a yoga teacher by showing her some warm-ups my high school track coach made up
His idea of a compliment is: 'you're cuter than your friend. If you both wanted a 3way I'd do it,but I'd pay more attention to you.'
Never again. I promise. My old gay body can't handle that much adrenaline twice.
You keep saying things....but all I'm hearing is kegs
We were simultaneously boning chicks 3 feet away from each other. Do you realize how much that upped our 15 year friendship?
He must be a special kind of stupid to cheat on a women who works at a funeral home. Does he not understand you can get rid of dead bodies easier than most Americans?
I don't think I'm ever gonna need a boyfriend again. I have a body pillow, a vibrator, and I'm strong enough to open my own jars.
Hey the moment you step into my house, find me IMMEDIATELY so we can pinky promise on not roping anyone at the party into yet another threesome
how does that bad decision feel?
Randomize