I wish I could be a nicer person. Or a more sober one.
eating toast while peeing. You think this what kanye meant by the good life?
Mike is offhisass drunk and just sat down next to my sister and said "If you gained 30 pounds and stopped reading poetry, I would be attracted to you. Now, your little sister, attractive, even though she's basically the same person as you- she just pulls it off better because she's 15."
So I accidentally txted this girl with the same name as the one im seeing, as it turns out shes still dtf
how ive managed to spend 100$ at an open bar is beyond me.
Found her laying down in a booth in iHop. She's a keeper.
Well look at it this way, if he should happen to get into a terrible accident within the next 2 days, its okay.. i have his dental records on my ass cheek.
She is just sitting by the bathroom like a little puppy waiting for a knight in shining armor to take her in there to fuck her. New low?
This juggling 3 dicks is getting exhausting
She had sex in a public bathroom and slept on a couch in the dorm lobby. It's only Monday
Thank you for caring about my cervix.
You're the only one to love me enough for me to admit the following: Rock-bottom sounds like sobbing to a Miley Cyrus song.
I can't believe we really went to walgreens to use their cork opener, bounced and drank a bottle of wine in a sketchy corner...
I RAN OVER A NUN! I RAN OVER A FUCKING NUN! GOD WILL NEVER FORGIVE ME FOR MY SINS NOW!!!
OMG OMG OMG I just throwed up in his pillow case when he wentto start the sho wer, time to grab my bra and bounce!!!
Wow.
Randomize
