If it wasnt for meatballs I would have fucking killed myself already.
a girl in my class is on a twilight fan site and running her fingers on the screen as edwards body comes up.
It tastes like I coughed up blood....hello liver damage, I've been expecting you.
The kid taped his penis down so that he wouldn't get a boner while dancing with girls. Oh these middle school man whores never cease to amaze me.
I think the tooth fairy visited me last night... after I chipped my tooth n blacked out, I woke up to my purse filled with cocaine n sequins.
Change of plans. Theres a bouncy castle setup in my apartment complex.
there's a girl in the coffee shop just eating a pint of ben & jerry's
SMART GIRL
SHE JUST SHOVED MY HAND DOWN HER PANTS AT THE BAR
Don't text me with that hand
They're doing shots to celebrate every 15 minutes passing. You can come get them.
Am I allowed to compare getting cum'd on the face to a warm summer rain?
I reek of vagina.. My cab driver commented.
I just Miyagied my roommate through her first set of tit pics. Her fuck buddy owes me.
Just watched my first Christmas porn of the year. Def have the spirit now
Also, your girlfriend apologized to me about yesterday. That was nice of the cunt.
He just turned down phone sex for hockey and I'm so relieved I'm fucking a straight guy that I'm barely even mad
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