dunno bout you, but i grow tired of beef curtains
i have now learned nap means the same thing as sex in college
I feel like my whole life has been one big pre-game for Mexico.
Good cause the way I see it, we are down to DAYS left of college so we should have as much naked fun as possible. And Jenga really facilitates that.
I mean, I don't even call it a hangover anymore. It's just morning.
thanks for at least making it out of the pool before you threw up
It's all sex hats and vagina bandages with you isn't it?
Babysitting for someone you accidently sent nudies to is so fucking awkward.
oh god my hair smells like rotten vegetables, sweat, and tequila. I wanna party with your neighbors every night.
In other news I have discovered that grindr is the easiest way to get free meals
Excuse me, but I got friendzoned and all I could think about was the fact that I didn't have my underwear back on yet.
There is a high possibility I will pass out with my hand in a bag of Doritos
I'm pretty sure that the bartender arranged a marriage for me last night. Sounds like a legit birthday present to me.
I kind of really want to call off the engagement but I kind of need his mom's mashed potatoes on thanksgiving so I'm between a rock & a hard place here
He finished and he wasn't even totally hard. He actually came without a boner.
HOW IS THAT EVEN POSSIBLE.
Randomize
