OMG Im so trashed fishy! im sitting hereon my bed wif mcdonalds n i look like david hasselhoff!!!!!! kill me now
my mom walked in on me smoking weed alone, listening to the eagles, and just staring at the river. she totally knew.
So my teacher figured out I made a drinking game out of her lecture. Once my drink was gone she let us out. Happy St. Patricks day class. Your welcome
he even offered to make my bed in the morning.
"Whiskey Cheerios" was a terribly great idea.
She tried to cook Velveeta IN the oven on clean mode.
Would it be out of line to take a picture of all the earrings, rings, hairclips, and other miscellaneous girl items that I found under my bed and post it on facebook and tag all the girls that I slept with this year so they can claim their shit and get it out of my house?
If you call getting home safe by sprinting down Spanish Harlem barefoot still rolling then ya I made it
Dinner was cheetos vodka and whiskey. This is what happens when even your booty call breaks up with you.
If there aren't any tits where you are, you're doing it wrong.
I'd say "I think I gave my TA chlamydia" is an accurate way to sum up my life.
How was jagerbomb pong?
It was like communism. Great in theory. Terrible when put into practice
i feel like every weekend turns into a giant blur of i dont want to know...
Oh yeah, nothing says welcome home like walking in on your parents having sex on your bed while the dog is watching, they told me to wait until they were done...
You some how ended up sleeping on one of the beams that run along the ceiling of your house
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