i woke up under my mattress pad with him laying naked next to me and his wwjd bracelet on my nightstand.
nice, that's exactly what jesus would do.
your dick doesn't do me any good in arizona
so basically i'm the" little sister", he's the "big brother" and we just fucked
At the bar dressed as a taco. not a typo. Come down.
I kept telling myself all night that it was completely okay for me to lose all sense of my morals because it was my birthday.
i have at this current moment imbibed enough alcohol to float immerse or otherwise submerge a goat of respectable size. tequila
this speak and spell drinking game will be the death of us all.
All you need to know is that isn't jizz
i looked down and was like "oh shit thats blood" then it was like "shit, thats not my blood." then it was like whos blood is this??
I feel violated by Miley Cirrus's performance in the VMA's.
Let's be honest, I am pretty sketchy looking.
i asked my neighbor to open a bottle of vodka once and then we slept together
Can you repeat that, but with context?
And thanks for putting me in that safety position on the bathroom floor while I was spooning the toilet
He's my blizzard buddy. We're blowing lines and doing a 3D game of thrones puzzle
Randomize
