So how was he last night?
Five-minute foot-long.
Smoked a bowl on a rollercoaster. Literally ON. Beat that.
woke up this morning with a fat chick but she went downstairs and made pancakes without saying a word.
Dude... Hand job in the lake... It was as weird as it sounds.
I feel as though the word "tired" has become synonymous with "too high to manage the stairs" lately
Someone just got pizza delivered to the liquor store.
I told him his only options were from behind or me on top. I was not about to mess up my $80 blow out before graduation.
I solemnly swear I will not get your boyfriend puke in public drunk again
also i don't know what you guys ate last night but he broke the toilet
That kid singlehandedly fucked the breakup right out of me. I'm only hooking up with Millenials from here on out.
I don't know what's worse. The fact that my biological mother is an unwitting bigamist, or the fact that my half sister is trying to seduce my girlfriend.
Hey beautiful no judgement but why is there a bucket of KFC chicken in the bathtub??
FYI, his "son" is a Chihuahua.
He and I tag each other in memes all day. You could say it's getting pretty serious.
No I come to this class stoned every week. Except last week when I was drinking in class
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