ok, i just want to know who did it and which end it came out of
The walk of shame isn't so shameful when you do it in a stolen, autographed Favre jersey.
It was like a little tadpole swimming in the big ocean.
Maybe I need a light up heart over my vagina like Christina aguilera to get the point across
there is mayo everywhere what the fuckkkk
Well on a lighter note, guess who just threw up in the elevator
I am way too high for this. Some guy just keeps talking about music and life goals and he apparently has lived in every city we mention we are going
I don't know what's happening. Everyone is wearing beaks.
admittedly, it's a little weird getting relationship advice from the mother of a former one night stand. but she's a wise lady and she buys me drinks, so i'm ok with it.
It's like a party bus, but there's a glass, airtight wall separating the driver from the passengers, and once everyone's on, they pump vaporized THC into the cabin.
I cannot tell if the couch is cold or I spilled beer. THAT kind of night.
Some girl just walked passed me, said "fuck yeah!" and is now crawling up the stairs
I cried at the bar for 30 minutes because I got my arm stuck in my sweater. I got free drinks for the rest of the night after the bartender helped me.
I was going to learn how to knit but I got high instead.
How did they ever let a trainwreck like myself run a bar?!
Randomize
