How is Miami?
Omk. I'm shitggaved om loincoln
No, I'm talking to this Chinese girl. Can't understand a word she's saying, but i think i caught the word vagina a few times.
five shots of tequila, anal and 3 cigarettes. not my best idea on a saturday afternoon.
Laziness has reached now heights if you too unmotivated to buy pot
so i woke up this morning covered in mail. none of it is mine.
please don't let me die tonight
what have you done for me lately?
If we went to a costume party as Batman and Robin I would go as Robin, that's how much you mean to me
just threw up on dog. broke microwave with cheese and spoon. having a bath with my barbies singing final countdown.
before you ask yes i found the absinthe under your bed. ITS THE FINAL COUNTDOWWWWNNNNNN
Are you dead or are you taking another 13 hour nap? you need to let me know these things ahead of time so i dont worry.
Security said no more parties of this kind. To me that translates to Theme party this weekend.
Would it be in bad taste to ask Marky Mark to sign the vibrator I named after him?
You have mono. It's like being pregnant, your are excused from normal social niceties like responding to people.
Actually, I may scrap this entire plan. I just realized that I had sex with a guy with his own whiskey commercial.
I just wanna know if were done hooking up so I know of that condom he left in my top drawer is fair game
it was the kind of sex that I don't even know how my hair extentions are still in
Randomize
