brad dismisses pussy with prejudice
im over her. I got weed and youtube. everything i could ever ask for.
It's all fun and games until the last slice of pizza gets bong water spilled on it.
I'm not 100% on this, but I'm pretty sure I just accidently talked my way into a threesome.
Just seen a scantily clad pirate with 2 36 packs of natty ice on a bike riding with no hands. If she doesn't hit a speed bump she's golden and should be on the next Americas got talent.
in my drunkeness I still was able to plan for the morning. I duck taped my keys, a water bottle full of mimosa and my cell phone to the front door.
I just woke up to three voicemails from you. In the first one you just straight laughed for 3 minutes. In the second you did bird calls. In the third you were hysterically crying. Have fun last night?
Wow, nothing is more special than changing the channel and seeing the guy who groped you on Saturday night...
I did what any insensitive guy would do bought her friends shots and tried to fuck them
I just held a marble with my kegel muscles for 5 min. You may call me COCKCLAMP 9000!!!!
There's only two more days left to say you saw me naked this year.....I'll bring the booze, you got all of next year to rationalize why.
Too bad Amazon Prime wouldn't get the wine bra flask to you in time. Concealed alcohol and huge tits? Win-win.
Excuse me while I gouge out my eyes.
In which case my work here is done.
I just didn't expect to have anal in a retail store at 9 AM on a Tuesday.
The only good thing about being back at work is supply room boom boom with my office husband
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