I'm a big fan of 2 things right now: 1) Gatorade and 2) the fetal position
the only difference between me and a prostitute was that i complained a lot more.
She has an album entitled "my photography", which consists of about 80 different pictures of a tractor that she took on her cell phone. I'm all for freedom of expression, but come on.
you were holding her hair as she threw up saying "I'm going to be a great doctor" repeatedly.
I just met the 30 percent of the population with an STD
Why is everyone in the bowling alley looking at me like i'm a prostitute just because I have bunny ears on?
I lost a little respect for your boyfriend when I learned that he has a scar from a Cheerio.
Found plan b box covered with blood. In kitchen sick. Pickle jar is empty. Wtf happened?
We got security called on us. Apparently the wedding down the street didn't appreciate the trespassing or our loud as fuck rendition of We Are Young.
Two word: claymation porn. Think about it.
I don't think I can ever express my appreciation for the things you text me.
you just missed a great speech in which i almost coined the term "ass-ian" as in "my vaginal and ass-ian regions are no longer safe"
God please dont post that to facebook.
You kept saying "this bitch", mumbled incoherently for like 5 minutes, took a shot, and kept going.
I can see the future and your future is full of penis
i was asked to be gay of honor by three different girls and NONE of the groomsmen at any of the weddings is open to experimenting. i mean whats the point then.
how soon in a friendship can you start calling them a motherfucker
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