butt plug
anus plug
rubbish cock?
yes
you suck at this game today
she's like "i'm so proud of u" ... and then i threw up on myself
i could't wear that belt anymore, it was gonna make me keep shitting for the rest of the night
he sent me a naked picture of himself. things got awkward really quickly. but on a positive note he shaved his chest
Being a girl sucks.
Being a boyfriend sucks for about a week, too
I wish i could be on x for the rest of my life.
Can you bring me a pair of sunglasses to the bathroom please... Don't judge me.
his mom walked in, looked at me, sighed n nsaid 'when are u gonna learn' n walked out
say 'i' if you broke up a fight involving your father at TD bank today....
Seriously-without actually meaning the statement for it's words- that made me want to put a baby in you.
BGSU move in weekend. Just passed a house w a beer pong table set up, ppl already playing, girls holding signs that say "son drop off". It's 10:30 am.
You're an asshole. I don't want your dick as my background. I'll look like I have a thumb fetish.
Just had a flashback to Friday. Definitely had my hands in someone's bra. Definitely wasn't mine.
I farted in his bed and then in my drunken stupor grabbed hair defanging spray to cover up the stench.
Do you think telling guys I'm majoring in magic is a good pickup line?
Randomize
