just woke up in a hotel room.. realizing its the hotel i work at.. lets see how this walk of shame turns out
Word to the wise: do not smoke before going grocery shopping with only 12 bucks. So stressful.
They really brought out their best strippers for vday weekend
like the only thing i remember is bringing a piece of toast to the bar...
Well, as a member of the greater american southwest gay community I just have to mark this as a total loss and you will be missed.
Hung over. Bed full of legos for some reason. Not getting up. Come build stuff with me.
ur roommate just sent me a pic of us fucking. i'm not coming over anymore.
I have bruises on the inside of my thighs from sliding down the stair case...thanks for encouraging that slut show
You and the dog were competed for the water dish
she gave me her number and i just said "no. cant."
Should I go sleeveless of strapless?
Hmmm, it doesn't matter. You're gonna be topless by the end of it.
Figured out why that fly won't leave. It keeps buzzing through my weed smoke
Fly high, Fly.
He said he discovered the mysteries of the universe inside an orange... I want whatever he was on.
Someone just asked me if I was chewing red hot gum.... I'm LITERALLY SWEATING OUT FIREBALL.
Her hand jobs are magic. They smell like vanilla and awesomeness. She made me forget how to walk
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