Dude, my boy c***** and I hooked up with Asian sisters last night in the same room
Then I put on blue by Eiffel 65 and security showed up and yelled at us for being too loud. Also, they stopped fucking because no one can fuck to eiffel 65
After he came all over my face, he proceeded to give me a high five. I can't even act upset because I always put myself in these situations. Did I mention D3: Mighty Ducks was playing in the background?
I don't think you know how difficult it is to pee in poncho..
I feel like shaving is just admitting i'm gonna do him, even though im still on the fence
shave. it'll take 10 min. Better safe than hairy.
He hid IN a snowbank for 2 hours waiting for me to come home. This game has to stop before someone dies.
Does he not understand that naked slip and slide needs supervision after dark?!
At a party. It smells like teen pregnancy and sadness in here.
Yesterdays boozy weather forecast has been extended to today
He sent me a poorly photoshopped picture of his shaved dick wearing a Hot Dog on A Stick titled "Shorndog"...
You just get me....like our souls are boning in the spirit world
Life goal: sit on his perfect beautiful David Archuleta-lookalike face
I can't decide which is better: the sex, or remembering that I have ice cream in the freezer after he left
also I have no idea whose underpants I'm wearing right now but they're super comfy and I'm not giving them back ever
Wanna meet at the diner for breakfast? all I've eaten in the past 24 hours is glitter and penis. starvingg.
It was a strange night. I made out with his college roommate and said "do you care?" beforehand.
Randomize
