We stole some shitttt from king sooper's. fuck yeaaa
what did you steal
frozen pizza, cat litter, and preperation H. not much different than my usual grocery list.
Just spent 45mins blow drying a joint i dropped in a beer....i felt like i dropped his infant child....
she must of just birthed a child cause her labia touched the floor
His penis is literally smaller than my cell phone. I can't go out like that.
After a certain blood-alcohol level, the dog is in charge.
I just found our entire wall-to-wall from September 2006 printed out and clipped... it's 49 pages. Blackout me is so considerate of bored-at-work me
OK WHO CHANGED MY RING TONE TO LADY AND THE TRAMP AND CHANGED EVERY CONTACT IN MY PHONE TO 'SOME GUY I FUCKED'?
It's just one of those nights that , as long as you have the drugs, everything is going to be alright.
Just stop talking to douche bags. How do you manage to attract every asshole within a 100 mile radius?
If i could answer that i wouldn't be so afraid to move to a more populated area
My radar detector detects ice cream trucks. I think it was made for stoners
Literally had to stick my hands in my pants and hold my butt cheeks together while driving
Margaritas just taste better when they're bigger than your head
Nah it's alright, I'll just ride cock all the way to hell
How many Wendy's frosties do you think it would take to fill a bathtub?
Someone just asked me if I was chewing red hot gum.... I'm LITERALLY SWEATING OUT FIREBALL.
Randomize
