Boner jamz table deep. plus bar deep. wiing waing.
Im wearin a dollar bill hat and tgkin a big girl home. Lifi is gmwnd
so evidently yelling "gay" everytime your bf tells you how he feels is cause for breakup. news to me
It was like a drunk episode of Dora the Explorer. In English.
dude, i think we just came across a situation where tits weren't worth it.
drunk enough to think that masterbating in the pool is an awesome idea
they told me they were banning four lokos so yeah i did have to buy 42 of them
Just walk straight and zig zag through cars tell you get to the road. That's where I am. Perpendicular to the doors do not make any turns
I think I'm gonna quit partying for awhile. Piercing my own nose is where I draw the line.
it's finals week and we've been blasting country porch drinkin since 10AM. there's been like 4 tweets about hearin us on the other side of campus
It was like a Thanksgiving meal, which you spend 8 hours cooking, and the family wolfs down in 20 minutes. All that flirting and build-up for like 90 seconds of pumping and he was gone in a flash, never to be heard from again.
wait did i hook up with someone in mcdonalds last night?
She pinched my nipples out of nowhere as I was about to come... I think I found god
So it was all good until she started grabbing my beard and telling me to "roar little lion"
She fucked a bartender in a closed Applebee’s and has the nerve to call me easy
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