dude i was like still drunk, taking pictures of her while she was naked and asleep and she woke up
haha what'd she say
i don't know man, something about us dating. but i never talked to her sober so i said i was making breakfast and snuck out of her house. close calls man WTF
Found a joint walking to class. I feel like the environment is rewarding me for being green.
A picture just appeared on facebook. I am puking in the toilet, you are next to me puking in the sink. I think we have our christmas card.
i left the icescrapper in his bathroom. i dont remember taking it there, but i remember brushing his hair with it.
Good news. Hiccups are gone. Bad news. I had to set the bathroom rug on fire to get rid of them. Don't come home until the fire truck leaves.
Attempted to dodge my boyfriends cum last night and ended up falling off the bed and getting the worlds most painful charlie horse. fuck my life.
Omg. I wanna lecture the drug dealer about how highschool should not be his glory days.
Fuck away man. Like 3% of these new people will be back next week. This is the best week of the year to slam bitches at the gym.
The only times we have to apologize in this friendship is when you intentionally punch me and that's only happened once so it's okay
you don't go into accounting for the pussy....
I think I've had more sex in your bed than you have and I've only been here three days
Guess who's now on the no-fly list? If you guessed me, you'd be right.
Sorry you ended up in detox. It's not my fault you decided to walk downtown in only your underwater at 3am. I think the tequila took over.
Obviously you're feeling a little sexually frustrated.
I consider humping a stranger every ten minutes when I walk in the street.
Did u find my other sock in your bra? U said u were uneven so I did the gentlemanly thing.
Randomize