she bought me drinks at the bar, made me pizza at her place, gave me head, and then drove me home...i think i might propose
I went to class with the sex aroma on me. The hot sun doesn't help much.
if you really think there are plastic pots safe for the stove i fear for your future landlords.
She deep throated me and when I woke up she made me pizza. I was full of emotions I started to cry.
Also, last night I had a dream that I was in a victoria's secret fashion show and they made me wear a t-shirt over my lingerie. Spring dieting begins now.
On the plus side this hangover is the tipping point that finally convinced my lazy ass to get some sunglasses.
I wouldn't blow him for all the queso in the world.
I'd rather blow that homeless guy who asked me to breast feed him.
He's only going to be gone for two weeks
That's two months in gay whore years.
wait no I wore my bra home that morning. I stole someone's bra last night?
Obama's speech on in 9 mins. Me in the shower now. Naked. Make your choice.
I'm bringing the tv in with me.
The dude at Coffee Bean just handed me my tea latte and whispered, "pomegranate blueberry is such a sexy flavor". With a wink. I'm almost certain that there's an STD floating around in my drink.
I stood on the corner waiting to be picked up, dry heaving, and trying to block out the sun.
I LACK THE NECESSARY BRAIN FUNCTIONS TO BE ABLE TO PROPERLY RESPOND TO THAT
The girls said some drunk guy in footie pajamas was asking for me when they opened the doors. I thought we agreed you were gonna stay home and microwave me some bacon.
he came with me to get plan b but they didn't have any. when I started crying he said "come on it's not that bad.. ill go get sandwiches from the vending machine and we'll have our first meal together as a family"
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