a mothers knocking is a guaranteed boner softener
I can't wait to see you, I've been doing mouth stretches for the past 2 days
The tornado sirens were going off and everyone just ran to the liquor store. .
cliffnotes. writing studyguide on last pack of smokes. glad this semester is over.
i wasn't gonna shower then i remembered i slept in my own piss
after last halloween when i met that 26yr old guy from russia who was hot until we madeout and he became obsessed with touching my forehead after the ecstasy he did and then tried to sell me pills from an m&m mini container, i think im staying away from parties downtown
i think the theme of this summer is "shitting in weird locations."
SHE GRABBED MY FULLY ERECT DICK IN A BAR AND STUCK HER TONGUE DOWN MY THROAT AND I COULD NOT CLOSE
Just watched a guy ride a bike off his roof into his pool. On my way to the liquor store, picking you up in 20
Nothing screams fatass like a pizza that doesn't fit in your car
You tried crawling through the apartment window instead of going through the wide open door next to it
A friendship for the ages born on how horny we both are
Looks like it rained condoms in my room last night
Theres a handprint of sauce on my fridge, one on my face, and a trail of it leading to my bedroom, and sauce all in my bed, and I have no idea what the fuck i ate.
I think I'm the first girl to break a bed with a guy, without even having sex with him while doing so.
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