What do you mean when you say no pre-party sex?
I have no idea. After the fireworks it all went to shit. Do you know why I woke up with a road sign?
Good news.. I found out what I did Saturday night. Bad news... I found out what I did Saturday night.
DO NOT GO IN OUR BATHROOM. it cannot be unseen
I told him if I was pregnant we were coming out to the people at work, because I'm not pretending to get knocked up by an imaginary boyfriend.
There are more dirty dishes in my bed then in the kitchen. Have I lost at life?
I wish I could be happy with a nice Christian girl, but no, I need a hot mess who starts bar fights
Last night someone asked you what your favorite color was and you said "bagel."
Well I'm a full service fuck buddy so lemme know if I can get you food or water or anything
Actually, I may scrap this entire plan. I just realized that I had sex with a guy with his own whiskey commercial.
I'm jealous, curious, and aroused. All at the same time.
My job here is done.
what do you mean he's functionally heterosexual
How far are you from my house? Do I have time to masturbate before you get here?
Can you get the dildos out of the shower before the maids come?
right after that u started calling me g-force and started trying to bellyslide down his drive way
Randomize
