Do you think the new Crest Whitestrips Advance Seal would stay on while I give him head? It would be great to knock out 2 things at once...
So random guy from last night came over tonight. I told myself I wasn't going to sleep with him but he had some killer dirty talk and a big penis in his arsenal...what was I supposed to do? Supposedly he lost his virginity to his wife and since their divorce a year ago I'm the 1st girl he's slept with, I feel like I just re-took his virginity...I feel like a rockstar.
She's the rare girl who loses weight and gets uglier.
We're playing a drinking game to 'how to train your dragon'. has it really come to this?
My right arm is handcuffed to my leg... Please help.
its the kind of pain that only someone with a fucking elephant on their head would understand. I'm never drinking again.
He chipped a tooth on the first beer. You know the night is just going to be a slushy mess after that.
So I had a crappy evening so the fat girl in me says eat and cry and watch something sad. The cool girl in me says don't eat go run. So I'm watching family guy and doing crunches w a pickle in my mouth
Gross
AN ACTUAL PICKLE
Cop came to our door looking for you. Something about sex in public and intoxication. I said you matched the description.
I'm worried about your health. And your boobs. Actually, health, then boobs. Health first, boobs second. And third.
Can we smoke pot out of a menorah?
The smoothie place is closed, but the liquor store is open and wine is kinda like a smoothie.
well, unfortunately the rug burn lasted longer than the actual relationship
HIGH AS FUCK. JUST WATCHED THE TRIPPIEST VIDEO EVER. IM NOT SCARED OF PANDAS. I GOTTA GO. TRIPPIN AGAIN
No instead we fucked in the elevator.. it was wrong on so many levels..
How tall was the building? Maybe it was only wrong on some of them
Randomize
