dude, i was at the student union last night trying to study but some retarded sorority spent an hour voting on the color of the seasons shirts like it was a UN meeting- someone motioned purple, someone objected, and half an hour later after 2 recounts they decided on purple
I took chris brown's side in the conversation ... cut to me not getting laid tonight
She's a Laker fan, her sister is a Celtic fan... no matter who wins I'm getting a celebration bj from one of them!
Just saw a woman in a hospital gown with a Steelers jersey on top smoking a cigarette while hooked up to an IV outside of the hospital. I love Pittsburgh.
so, are you laying bloody on campus somewhere or did you go out after class and forget to let me know?
bloody. ill be home soon.
at least i was responsible enough to take off my shoe and throw up in it
It's official. Hawaii is 100% better when you're stoned.
It must have been an amazing night, I have "my pants are responsible people" written on my pants in permanent marker.
I just yelled at a bunch of girl scouts for yelling "cookies" to loudly. That hungover
He's a prodigy! It would be a service to the scientific community.
15 is 15
idk the fact that her roommate had a sign that said "enter without knock, exit without cock" makes me really NOT want to go steal her pot.
Just heard a girl ask "Wait you're not my boyfriend?!" to a guy wearing the Mickey to her Minnie Mouse on my way home. Made me feel better about myself.
I'm at a loss. By loss I mean singing songs from Wicked and pretending I'm at the Oscars
You said, "I'll have this whole island inside of you by 6 AM. Just point out who you want and I'll make it happen."
Through a complicated series of events, I wound up in the desert with a blue chick from comic-con. we lost peter. if you're alive, please come get us.
Randomize
