It started with Hannah Montana and ended with alcoholism.
Just had to have the guy at Sprint clear the dried cum out of the trackball on my Blackberry. Wonder if that happens to him often.
they almost convinced me to put "Funbags" in the 'other names you may be known as' section of the job application
I guess since this is supposed to be my year of the lesbian it's okay
Leaving the phone at home last night was the best decision I ever made.... Though I still managed to text her and now I have 2 phones...
I'm just saying, margarita tuesday would turn anyone gay.
Idk he's just laying there passed out with a French fry up his nose and without any pants on. Boner and everything.
I think the last straw was when you put on ice skates to go across the waxed wooden floor.
Sean slept in the bushes beside my house again. Any reason he kept screaming/slurring 'it was all a bunch of goddamn lies' through out the night?
She had a belly button piercing in the shape of a cross. Talk about mixed messages.
Something must have happened, they started yelling truffle butter and you said we needed to leave NOW
HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED
yeah it's a weird friendship. we pretend that we're automatic besties but i know we both know i slept with her boyfriend
wait. i have to tell u something. and it has nothing to do with dildos or spiders
I once broke a mans heart just to get laid by a premature ejaculator
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