I'm sorry that you just had your first misguided homo experience
Aren't you glad we're at the point in our relationship where I don't even ask why you're hiding in the cabinet?
Nothing like hearing a USA chant while getting head. God bless America.
My ex best friend's ex fuck buddy is visiting. There was no other option but day drinking.
you are never too drunk for berry picking
He was smart enough to bring a condom to our study date so I mean I'm sure he'll do fine on the test
I'm just going to take the mature adult root and ignore him for a bit, and then pretend like I didn't see him jerking off.
my liver is dry heaving
2016 is coming through for me, I'm renaming it the year of great dick
I just sent him a message bearing my soul about how much he means to me as a friend and his first response is "are you drunk?"
Shit like this is why I'm a bitch to everyone.
someone at the bars was yelling at the bouncer to let him in because he "just passed through the 7 levels of the candy cane forrest" soulmate?
go meet him and give him your number.
Tell me why I woke up with your dads construction shirt on, nothing else, and had jelly donuts with a note from a girl named cathryn that said "we had a kinky night with peanut butter". p.s. Im by the layin by the lawnmower
I'm both gender and math confused
got some info she was last seen with some guy wearing goggles
IT'S PERFEFT
... what?
HIS DICK. IT'S PERFECT. BYE.
Randomize
