well that was a long night...
dude, you were pretty messed up... what happened?
no idea... but i still woke up with my pirate hat on
the entire time we were hooking up i couldn't stop thinking about the bengals. thoughts?
Taking shot for every red box on your worst bracket. I have 30. I might die tonight.
she was stripping to whiskey lullaby. most depressed boner.
PLEASE DON'T BE HEARTLESS COME AND GET ME FROM THE BAR I'M HIGH AS SHIT AND I LOST MY SHOES
I will not be held responsible for my vagina's poor judgment.
I'm giving you an age limit on the people you're allowed to hit on at steak n shake at 3 am. I can't see straight and I want a cheeseburger. You want dick. I'm sure we can't order at least one of those. But maybe.
I wish I'd realized he looked like Skrillex before I was already in the middle of fucking him...
You told your mom that it was your second day sober. I think she believed it until you jumped off the balcony
When God was sprinkling self control to everybody, he ran out and was like ehhhh she'll make it!
Any chance the bar is open now? Also who's wedding is this?
Am I just high or is she having an auction for her vagina on Twitter
dude wtf why are there forks in my wall
does "I AM MAGNETOOOO" ring any bells, because that was you for an entire hour last night
So, just how hungover are you?
Not at all, surprisingly.
That has to be your X-Men power.
dude. i woke up on a random lawn wearing only my boxers, with all my clothes hung in the branches of a nearby tree... no more shrooms
Randomize
