come outside for a special surprise it involves huge boobs
So I pulled my t-shirt down, pushed my boobs up and marched right into that church!
I have no morals, kinda like you have no standards
None
I'm outside your house...sorry I feel like I don't need formal invites anymore.
I just heard a woman call her child a butt face. Repeatedly. He's crying now. I love walmart.
when your english prof writes "this was a real good paper" on your essay, you know you're at the wrong college
She rolled a blunt with one hand...and instantly I had a boner, I'm going to marry this girl.
I wasnt that drunk. Throwing the table off the third story was totally logical.
When I try to close my eyes ibwant to puke. Going to the basement to watch pocohantas. That'll keep myeyes open. And puke free.
it's 8 a.m. and there are people having sex at the foot of the strangers bed i'm in. the guy just asked the girl how she lost her baby weight so fast.
Don't lose. A little bit of my soul dies every time a beer pong game is lost.
Fun thought: I realized the thing I miss most about him is dixie kong's double trouble on his super Nintendo. It's possible that I don't have a soul.
I learned a very valuable lesson tonight...don't touch a cops tazer
I wanna get high and watch Shrek tonight...don't make me do it alone.
you were grinding on the cop whispering for him to lend you his tazer.
Randomize
