I don't want to talk about it. He was like the Little Engine that couldn't get me off.
I had the spins so badly it was like I was having sex with 2 girls
and now there are teeth marks on my dick.
nobody understands how my tooth became embedded in the ceiling last night.
So hungover. Walked into room and poached their catering before realized in wrong place. Scowled and ate it anyway
i'll llet you know if at any point this night starts to make any sense
Did you cry?
I don't think so. I definitely lost my cool though
Yeah i think jesus would lose his cool in that situation
Make sure you plan your visit for October. That's ACL festival, it's like every Bro in the country converges on Austin. My vagina wants to go hunting.
I threw up off of your balcony and it must have been loud because the dog downstairs went insane.
idk how I feel so profoundly understood by someone whose latest tweet is "labia majora's mask." but I do.
I say camping because "let's go get hammered in the woods" sounds kinda fucking weird to be honest.
I'm sure as hell not getting hoodwinked into going back to rehab again
Let's celebrate our country being screwed by screwing.
He just blew a .079. Jesus loves him THAT much.
I literally ended up in this basement and was tangoing w my friend and then I peed in a supply closet and had to be put to bed
Randomize