Lavender boy was great at seduction and crappy in bed.
Todays outfit involves shorts with embroidered fish. This kids gonna die.
Honestly, where the fuck is osama bin laden?
I thanked her for the handjob she gave me in the middle of the night. She had no idea what i was talking about. I think she sleep-jerked-me-off. Im def sleeping over tonight too
Reason #57 I am going to fail the bar... it's Tuesday and i'm drunk at Toy Story 3.
I'm literally partying with O.J. Simpson's son right now. I don't know what to make of this.
i just overheard someone saying that they invented the 'tequila mockingbird' last night. sorry, but i found better friends
You just kept shouting "I AM AN ADULT!" until he agreed to carry you home on his shoulders.
there's no excuse to just assume your pants won't be coming off for some reason or another. that's just irresponsible
I woke up on karas dogs bed. Lets evaluate our lives.
He was an asshole the entire night and then tried to touch my dick in a Michaels craft store.
Sooooo, no second date?
Signs you do Molly too much. Glow sticks fallout of random articles of clothing on academic row
The highlight of the night was definitely when you starting telling ppl you could shapeshift and "proved" that by stripping.
Well, I was giving him a handy and I sighed in boredom. He heard. I had to fake moaning sounds after he asked if I sighed.
can jess come too?
sure! but I don't have enough booze for the both of you.
she comes with her own booze, no worries.
Randomize
