Nobody needs to come anywhere. Except on your face.
we used that portable toilet as a cooler to keep coronas. next person who tells me hospitals arn't fun needs to come party in rm 180.
Does adding vodka to a protein shake defeat the purpose?
i have a $600 bill for my ER visit in which they did nothing but suggest to me that i am an alcoholic.
i was trying to wake him up so i just kept touching his dick
It honestly wasnt my fault this time. i was in shock. WHO THE FUCK OWNS A PEACOCK?!
you wanted the guy to gift wrap the condoms
Fastest blow job ever. Though it was probably a good thing since we were in front of my house.
Watching the gap toothed girl get more ass than me is almost devastating.
You really need to get over the whole "jail" thing. Its really not that bad.
I just took the kind of shit that makes your eyes well up with tears as you feel it moving inside of you... So cleansing.
As your only female friend, I feel the need to inform you that texts like these are why she dumped you.
I can measure my amount of vomit in solo cups.
Sharknado 3 is going to bring us to alcoghol poisonign
I was at a crossroads, dude. Like, do I wanna eat chicken McNuggets or talk about my feelings?
That's nice of you to be concerned, but I'm pretty confident I'll marry someone 30 years older than me, ride out being the trophy wife for 10 or 15 years, then live large!
Randomize