I'm on that like soy sauce on rice
no more hot dogs for you........
fine no more vajj for you
i watch way too much csi for them to even pretend to be my friend.
I twisted my ankle last night doing a super high five with 3 inch heels on.
I made her cum... she sounded like Ray Romano
"Students using Axe body spray to light selves on fire" is a real headline from a real newspaper. WHY AREN'T WE DOING THIS RIGHT NOW?
shes got that 'its my party i can do meth if i want to' mentality. i like that.
I wouldn't take my shot so you poured it on my face. Twice.
the cop didnt laugh with me when he patted me down and pulled out my flask.
I stole another quarter from the bathroom. I'm slowly getting rich drinking here.
Im in your car brotha dog. Its was unlocked, so im gonna sleep in it. well i mean i think its your car be your car.
If you hook up with a kid and the next day he breaks up with his girlfriend, those can be seen as two completely unrelated incidents right?!
Beat the bartender in a shot challenge for a free tab. I won that, and him. I never get tired of the "this is my first time with a guy.." bullshit.
How do you even...
The magic of Christmas. And whiskey, of course.
i passed out in front of ihop...for the second night in a row. i think i need to reevaluate my life choices
I went next door to get a can opener from them. They opened the door shirtless, asked me if I wanted to a smoke a joint with them. Then decided to make blueberry smoothies. But the yogurt in the blender & the berries, got confused when the berries blended into the yogurt and just kept adding more. Only stopped when we ran out of berries.
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