You guys sftrill at mcdondalds?!!!!
Yes.
fuckin bring me a cheseburgeria
Breakfast of vicodin and eggs out of a solo cup at about three in the afternoon on a wednesday...I have my life together
this crazy girl in up in Dennys is going crazy because Bob Saget just texted her.
I just found 3 condoms in my math textbook... in the probability section... Under dependent and independent events...
some random kid just walked into our apartment with two cases... I don't know who he is but I like him
we've been together for three years, and i still get excited when i know i'm going to give him a blow job. it's that kind of love
He broke into my apartment to check his Facebook again, the beer is all gone, and there's a new high score on pac man.
We made a water bong out of a wine bottle... Being an architect major finally payed off.
do you still have a key to my apartment? Without going into too much detail locked myself out naked on the patio, currently using a deck cushion to cover myself so kids walking home from school dont see me
HOLY FUCK COMFIEST CHAIR EVER
I didn't know he had a girlfriend until after we had sex when he said, "Man I really gotta stop cheating on my girlfriend."
Reports of my death were greatly exaggerated.
Sailor Jerry came over for the evening. It was a magical evening. I didn't even get puke in the house.
I gave him morning sex, a bag of cookies, and dropped him off at work. I believe I deserve the "best hookup award."
Somehow reaching for the flaming hot cheetos ended up in the best sex of my life
Randomize
