Why are you at a bar in Connecticut?
Long story. One that now involves lots of delicious chicken wings om nom nom
is it bad that the economy has gotten so bad that finding cheap gas gives me the same excitement and joy as finding a hot, blonde haired, blue eyed, tall, athletic single straight guy?
def just vomited mimosa in the gym trashcan. i weigh less already so i say its been a solid workout.
my dad just said 'either you're lying about your plans tonight or you kids are really lame nowadays'. maybe we should nix the singles saturday slumber party and go to a bar.
You texted the wrong number but that's probably the best call you'll ever make.
mid blow job she looked up and said "we aren't even facebook friends!"
Just found an "inspected with pride" sticker on or around my vagina
I'm currently sitting on the floor of a hostel reception area taking swigs of straight vodka, singing with people whose English doesn't go far beyond Lion King songs. I thought you might appreciate it.
Packing a mid day bowl in the Sonic parking lot. Have I gone too stoner?
I walked into her room to find her sitting on the end of her bed with her heads in her hands talking to herself. She kept muttering things like "What? How? No. What? I don't --- How?" $10 says she's pregnant.
I'll see to your $10 and raise you $40.
I've finally given up enough on finals week to wear the same shirt three days in a row, because I didn't take my hoodie off for the first two.
just creeped your profile pictures and you should feel satisfied in knowing that you had great eyebrows even before people started drawing them on
I got her number but I don't think I'll be able to smash, I was pretending to be British AND I forgot her name
We did hand stuff while watching teenage mutant ninja turtles so I guess you could say it's getting serious
Omg. I can't go on a date with this man. His kids are too ugly.
is it just me or does "lol" kill any sort of vibe while sexting?
Randomize
