you did pass out in the elevator last night, so it could be motion sickness
just woke up to overhearing her on the phone saying "yeah we fucked last night, that makes 42." should i get tested?
well i fucked her too, so yes.
Jenna and Ryan are ranting and raving about child custody. MY VASECTOMY SMILES.
Of course my walk of shame coincided with the alumni marathon on campus. But, I did get a thumbs up from the woman handing out water.
I woke up using a pile of socks as a pillow. I think theyre clean so thats a plus.
Of course it was necessary for me to call the strip club and ask what their shower policy is. Smelled like she was wiping her ass with my eyebrows during that dollar dance.
She was touching herself and looking a shoes online. My debt is bad enough without bringing that hot mess into my life.
she shotgunned a can of v8, threw the can on the ground and said, "fuck bitches get money" then passed out on the spot
SORRY BITCH CAN'T, TAKING SHOTS TO WHITNEY HOUSTON.
I just want to fall into a pit of xannies and eat my way out.
I just took two shots of Burnerts out of a ladle. Get here now.
so my pro life roomate found a used condom wrapped up in her sheets with your panties. never letting you have sex in her bed again
He came on my favorite pants. He is dead to me.
Yeah last night got weird fast. No lie, a kid pulled a butt-plug with a tail out of his ass.
But at least i made friends with the nice lesbian cop. She knew i was her kind when she had to confiscate my rainbow/pride rolling papers.
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