i mistaked the back of her knee for her vagina
listen if there's one thing I'm asking of you tonight is that you buy me a cow for my farmville.
Tell me you're stoned. It's 2:40am.
is it really high of me to have brought my own hot sauce to wendys?
I now beleive the Trojan Ecstasy ad "feels like nothing's there". They forgot to add "...cause the condom broke."
Only your wife would write 'for deposit only' on the back of that $1500 check knowing full and well our capabilities of spending it on strippers and booze
We made the bar tender tell us how he proposed to his girlfriend. In detail. While we made gushing noises. We are embarrassments to females everywhere
Dude, this guy showed up with a 40 and stayed for two days. I want that lack of responsibility
We opted you as the sacrificial dick tonight. We need our patron cafe. Go make some moves.
Ita all starting to make sense i need vodka like i need air
The goal for tonight is vagina. In and around. Doesn't matter who. How. Or why.
also, made a drinking game out of my birthday photos....drink everytime alcohol is in a photo. going through all 350 of them.
Well I got black out drunk before the rehearsal dinner and berated my family with insults. But other then that it was a good time
He put his SoundCloud on his Tinder bio. I felt personally attacked.
He came so fast i dont think he got it all the way in. He apologized and gave me his favorite baseball card.
When do you estimate your next shower will be? Several people have asked.
Randomize
