There is a new fb quiz: "are you at ypical woman, future ex or from crazy town" - should i take it?
Aren't all three of those the same though?
She was walking with the authority that 2 beers gave to a light weight.
Dude, this place has 10% alcohol beer on tap. It's like God's semen.
What happened to the watermelon?
You fucked it.
He seems like he has feelings, which is completely unacceptable; esp for a boy in college.
I just saw some girl with the liscense plate "OBVIII"...I never wanted to get in a car accident so badly.
He measures volume by how much weed he can put in it and surface area by how many people can have sex in it.
As I fucked him you stood outside my door screaming, "I'M NOT JUDGING YOU!" over and over.
I was judging you.
Is the Chairman of the College Republicans throwing upon your toilet right now? 'Murica!
Seriously? People are paying $45 for Surge?!? I've seen better one night stand decisions being made then the choices being made on amazon orders of Surge
Apparently my thong was thrown in the cornfield last night. No one will tell me why.
The last person that asked me out got pushed down an escalator
1. so the new neighbor u called dibs on.. I'm sorry..but not really. 2. She lactates, I guess that happens when you have a kid less then 5 months ago.... WTF!! 3. Is it fucked up I'm craving Ceral & Milk now?
Nothing says "Happy New Year" like having to shit into a plastic bag.
I need a significant other who'll eat Skittles from my boobs
Randomize
