I dont abuse you, i just hit you while we have sex
you're the only person i know to use "jizz" and "cute" in the same sentence.
it's like doing a sit-up... but, you're inside someone
This morning is cloudy with a high chance of vomiting all over the dentist. Stay tuned for further updates.
Haha pretty bummed I didn't stay night yesterday after the bj fest you described
Driving a mountain pass in the middle of a blizzard with the worst vodka gummybear hangover ever is gods way of telling me to keep the black-outing within a 15 mile radius to my house.
drinking ice water after you brush your teeth, is like Antarctica blowing a load into your mouth.
Can't a woman sleep on the floor in her own apartment in peace without being judged?
More importantly this is sex weather and i am striking out
Also my vagina isn't a crater of death where nothing comes out
He told me my outfit made me look like a twelve year old then proceeded with "but you don't look like a whore"
We had sex in the church bell tower and somehow it still feels right.
Would you still love me if my nipple fell off?
Partying with my eighth grade history teacher I know you're jealous
The cat was building a spaceship out of the carpet, my legs were cans of tomato sauce, and there was something else in that pot you gave me.
Randomize
