I feel like ignoring a facebook event is a lot like a pocket-veto. The only difference is instead of opposing legislation, I don't want to go to your sketchy party.
He's on drugs...like drugs for horses.
Where's the Hot Mess Express headed tonight?
I hope that's not the new nickname for my friends and me.
He screamed "Oh boy! Oh boy!" during climax.
A relator touring our house this week saw the picture in our bathroom of steven passed out, yellow faced, with BALLS on his forehead, and had to ask "if that kid was alive or dead".
My grandma put hard boiled eggs on her lasagna. I'm not high enough for this.
i caught the condom in my mouth.. dont ask me how
I got a Luke Skywalker costume so I can go do battle with the homeless guy who plays the fiddle dressed as Darth Vader downtown.
At one point in time, he cried and said I didn't appreciate him.
I'd like to introduce you to my friend, Moderation. Enjoy each other's company this weekend.
Your friend and I already don't get along
Aqua-barf. When you are about to puke in the toilet but pass out face first instead...and then puke. WITH YOUR FACE IN THE BOWL. There is no escaping the puke ring you have on your face. I know first hand.
I hear sloppy seconds go great with fried rice
cassie wtf are you alive??! no one has seen you for like seven hours whereeee did you go
IS IT POSSIBLE FOR A GUY TO NOT HAVE BALLS
he taught all the little kids to ski. it was stupid hot. i'm pretty sure my ovaries exploded.
It's the kind of dick you travel across the country for
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