And now I'm afraid that I'm a pornographic eater.
I googled Canada's legal age of consent. I have good news. It's 14. Justin Bieber here I come...
Vibrator and massage oils got stopped at security. Super.
i know this sounds kinda weird but his cock smelled like fabric softener. it was so refreshing.
Home safe. Psyche shattered. Still rolling. In love with the morrocan rug in the living room.
WHY DO YOU ALWAYS PUT THE PLUG IN THE SINK BEFORE YOU PUKE IN IT
In the midst of you puking your guts out, you stopped, looked at the globe in front of you and whispered "America.."
Also I'm very proud of th fact that I walked my dog before bed. Drunk dog walking should be an Olympic sport; it takes SKILLS.
Was my mother there when I broke the stipper pole?
We had a One Night Stand 6 months ago but he just Facebook invited me to his wedding. Who the fuck does that.
Sorry I told all the other bridesmaids you were an asshole. I had had a few drinks and it's how I felt at the time.
I’m literally watching say yes to the dress, eating fancy cheeses with crackers, and I have orange dark chocolates. All of which is being washed down with merlot. And I’m 100% sure a porno is gonna go down next door tonight. They don’t have a car and arrived via taxi. Happy holidays from motel 6 Pendleton Oregon!
So I was laying on the couch reading a book and he texted me. All I saw was the image of him spitting on my vagina last night in the moonlight. I gagged.
Just stopped at a cross walk because the light turned red 3 streets down. I'm way too high.
your mission the party friday: cockblock me at ALL costs. I've cheated on my boyfriend twice. I feel like three times would be crossing some sort of line...
and no, I don't care how how hot he is
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