so i told my doctor my symptons and she just shook her head at me
Do u think I can claim pregnancy as an accident so my insurance covers it?
have you ever wondered what it would feel like to stick those coneheads in your vaj
omg every time its on
dont worry, it'll just be a conversation starter like "why did you get that pierced?" or "wow, i got arrested there too"
I woke up to my dog trying to clean my vagina.
Before he took off his pants he paused and said, "Remember..sometimes great things come in small packages."
You had a towel around you and you called it your shot bib.
I was to drunk to walk in jimmy john's so I called and got a pickle delivered to me outside the bar , too much?
One my way home. There was too much fog, strobe lights, and cocaine for my taste.
I don’t know what's weirder; the fact that I weigh more with an erection..or the fact that I actually weighed myself with an erection...
View of Vancouver Bay is obscured though the greasy hand prints from fucking against the window. Tip maid well.
Gross! What the hell is that?!?
It's quite clearly a man posing erotically with multiple packages of bacon.
I want to fuck the side burns off of Steve.
So my flight takes off at 8am. Does this mean I need to break my airport bar pre-flight ritual?
Aren't you the one who taught me that airports are the judgement-free drinking zone?
Let's not forget that we had sex on the ground in public tonight.
Randomize
