So how was he last night?
Five-minute foot-long.
I just wanted to draw pictures of limp wieners on peoples doors and smash pictures of palm trees. That's it.
i looked up his schedule, waited outside his classroom, and handed him the receipt for plan b
OK, the bar's closing. Do I go to home to my wife or my girlfriend?
I've never felt so inclined to grow a dick. THIS is what the gays in this town have done to me
We drove around last night shotting fireworks out the window while they had sex in the back of his car
Should i put up a tasteful banner for your party that says last chance to sleep with maya?
I just want to let you know that when you try and lie about the "solid 10" you brought home last night, I've got a picture of her and about 10 reasons you should have left her at the bar starting with those martin scorsese eyebrows.
Next Halloween, remind me to find a different wingman. Walking out in your pirate costume talking like Captain Ahab while i was banging her and telling me I had to harpoon the white whale really pissed her off.
Sorry, fell into some ass. Call you tomorrow.
I think putting on real pants was half my issue with today
NO. NONE OF THAT. SHAME ON YOU.
I feel like with a dick like that he could of done more with it
Imma make him fuck me with my jersey on tonight while I chant Go Jets Go. Gotta love playoff hockey szn.
Chick in the kitchen making breakfast.. Yours or mine?
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