you told me your penis was albino and it couldnt be exposed to light so you needed to keep it in me
You pointed at his crotch then made a thrusting motion. I think it's safe to say every guy at my college loves you.
So one buddy got tackled at the urinals by national guard members and was arrested. Another had sex in a port o potty with possibly the drunkest girl I've ever encountered. The rest of us blacked out and won a few bets. So yes, the derby did meet our expectations.
I just saw her punch a kid in the face.. i always knew she was the girl for me.
I cant believe she fell for the mistletoe belt AGAIN.
I tried carrying you from the bathroom to your bed and you begged me to bring the toilet too
Weird we were more concerned with sharing our germs than tag teaming the blow job?
just saw someone climb out of the dumpster at cvs and start walking down the street like it was completely normal
You look me right in the eyes and yelled "By the power of the superglue beer sword, I designate you my driver!" I almost felt honored.
Yeah, I only wore tennis shoes under the gown. Way cooler than khakis and a shirt, but much more awkward when my parents wanted to go to dinner immediately after the ceremony and my grandmother started to unzip the gown. Stopped her before it was too late, but barely. My dad just rolled his eyes.
We both work at 8am and I have to shower but my roommate is passed out on our bathroom floor with the door locked. Merry Christmas.
Watching the Walking Dead, snuggled up naked, and drinking a beer. No better way.
If ever there was a tweet to describe your life, it's this.
Sorry you felt insulted last night let me rub your butt in remorse
I just remembered that I insisted everyone watch porn together last night.
Look, if it comes down to it, I’m spraying whipped cream on your nuts
Randomize
