i study at coffee shops because all these damn artsy people motivate me to work towards a real job.
Now I'm watching The History of Sex on the History Channel. They're talking about how repressed the 30s were. I think I understand why grandma is such an angry person.
If you can get laid in a rudolph onesie you are doing something right my friend.
Dude, this guy showed up with a 40 and stayed for two days. I want that lack of responsibility
Will you please bring your dog over today? Apparently I was drunkenly cooking last night. There's food everywhere. I'm too hungover to clean.
I feel like as your wife, as cool with your decision-making skills as I usually am, there should be a bigger explanation to you adopting a child while I'm in Houston.
I've reached the gravitational age where it's very hard to get my face and my boobs in the same shot without some kind of yoga involved .
My roomate has me out looking for easter kegs hidden arround town
And then after we fucked he wouldn't stop calling me "champ". It was like I had sex with an extremely attractive soccer coach
My new hobby is moving his stuff to random places in the house. Good luck making a smoothing at 6:30 in the morning, the blender top's in the dog food container
My soul is telling me that I need to take this exam naked.
Is it bad that I tried to build an outfit based around "What do people who use condoms look like when they buy condoms?"
It turned from Netflix and chill to cringeworthy YouTube videos and chill. At least he's honest.
Dont ask questions just say words. where can i find plan b?
Alcohol and video games. A solid Friday night. Even before covid
Randomize
