her voice honestly makes me want to vomit. i have springsteen cranked up all the way.
Job is the problem. Drinking, the solution.
i officially have more pictures of his dick than pictures of us together
Wait, how is it that I'm just getting ready to go out and you're already showing your penis to freshmen girls?
he brought me knee pads...is that sweet or weird?
Is it cheating if its a threesome? This is more like a party game than infidelity.
Do you have any pix of it limp? I wanna see the metamorphosis, like a cock caterpillar turning into a giant beautiful cock butterfly!
An we can hold bottles of vodka in our hands singing yo ho a pirates life for me
But seriously who drew a dick on a tortilla and nailed it to the door?
I don't know if apple cider everclear was such a good idea
I enjoy the level of friendship we have achieved until you ask me to determine what may or may not be gentile warts via iphone pic
this is a preemptive text before you call me freaking out: i have your keys and your car is parked safely a block down from your apartment.
you are a goddess
If my dick was big enough to fuck the eye of a hurricane, I would.
Wait, there's no way I said I would suck his dick. I know drunk Katie.
No, you told him to suck YOUR dick.
See now that sounds like drunk Katie.
I know. I know. He'll be weekday dick.
Randomize
