Looks like I will be paying for the roofie I slipped myself in 9 months.
Turns out getting tied up to two door handles and forced to repeatedly cum is actually a really good ab workout.
My fuck buddy took time out of his date with his girlfriend to text me happy Valentines Day.
We're past the whole "Did she just try to finger my ass?" Stage. Now it's encouraged.
Sorry no. I've already promised my first single hookup to somebody.
We are going to be Siegfried and Roy for Halloween and you are going to be the tiger.
So that's all you want from me. Easy ass.
And an everlasting friendship
Stoned, drunk, and walking into the library. Look at me multitasking!
I feel very compelled to cut off the person's ears that is sitting in front of me
I woke up with my wool blanket soaking wet on the dorm room floor, and my sweatshirt hanging on the shower door down the hall. So basically my camp-out-in-the-bathroom idea didn't turn out as planned
After fooling around at the hotel til dawn, I managed to feed her with my free buffet passes. Tastes like sweet victory.
Playing pong against a girl who fucked my ex boyfriend so that's how my nights going
Currently tripping balls and watching Pink Floyd the wall and I'm crying during it. If this isn't a self realization then I don't know what to tell you.
OMG WE ARE UP TO THREE MINORS WORKING HERE. I AM NOT READY FOR THIS MID LIFE CRISIS.
half way down the stairs my legs said fuck this and i just fell the rest of the way...
Randomize
