Apparently throwing up on his dick didnt convince him to stay away . . . whats the most indirect way of saying "im just going to continue avoiding you"?
I think i'm just gonna start shot-gunning everything that comes in can form.
ahh summer, the season during which the prefix for every verb is "get drunk and"
We were making out and then he stopped and said to me, "Your ship is right there, why don't you take your people and just go?"
What happened to chicks over dicks?
That rule does not apply to 9 inch dicks..
Found my phone laying in a snow angel outside my apt this morning.
It's 10AM, she's drunk blaring veggie tales and I have a paper to write you've got to be fucking kidding me
Lucas & I had a photo shoot with her cape & I had child arm floaties on most the night.. woke up in a spiderman bed
You better buy her a motherfucking bunnyrabit to make up for this. And me footsie pajamas for being a cockblock.
Remember that time you puked in a beer pong cup while someone else was playing?
that happened
I mean I only got hit in the ass with ONE firework
Do not ever look at a picture of an erect ostrich penis. You will regret it.
I just got yelled at by a stripper for being a tease.
How did the surgery go?
My face feels like a marshmallow.
Only you would offer whiskey to a man in liver failure.
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