There are 3 speedbumps now up. Think you can manage the urge to piss on them?
Aw shit! That's like putting me a in a room full of Captiain Crunch Donuts and Jasper Hale and not letting me put my mouth on either.
I just ate an adderall and jelly sandwich in front of my mom. Homework time!
then she came back into the room with a neckbrace on. i thought she was getting ready for the pounding of a lifetime.
He looks like the kind of guy that still collects pokemon cards
it turns out jennifers body is not good to beat off to. yeah its megan fox but when she pukes up blood = goodbye boner
I promise you I could read that dogs mind, he was arguing with the other dog saying he knows how fucked up I am
My third nipple is alarmingly under-appreciated.
I remember coming home with a cat... I havent seen it all day. Shit.
Happiness for him is a different happiness than you can supply cuz you have life standards, morals and goals that dont include the bar or beer everynight.
Ok. I'll enjoy the quiet (translation: I might be naked, call ahead if you come home tonight)
So we just smoked a bowl, out of an antler, with this old dude, while standing at the bar. Dude just walked up and said we were in his spot, just began packing it and handing it around...
My walk of shame was four miles long and I had to stop for a water break. I am the picture of class.
Pissing into the Grand Canyon is the single most liberating thing I've ever done in my entire life
If you needed to get laid tonight all you had to do was ask
This is the most aggressive rendition of that Proclaimers song I ever heard.
Randomize
