What about the words "You're my personal dildo" made him say "I love you"?
i dont care about people's attitudes as long as they give me head
so when i dont talk to her she talks to herself...idk whats worse
the elusive kegmastree, who's mystery is only exceeded by it's power
He still lectured me about forgetting shit. Than he said he's gonna paint me green so I can stand in a corner and be a plant.
i think i traded my wallet for a tim hortons gift card.
It's like a challenge who can be the biggest embarrassment to the family. I win 80% of the time.
When did I go from having sugar daddies to being one? And does it count as a tax write off?
How many people can say they've shit on the floor of a five star hotel?
Watching him is like watching a star slowly implode
We were walking home from Pluckers (read carrying your drunk ass) and out of nowhere you yelled "Say bitch you got a Facebook?" at a random chick walking by.
got into a verbal altercation with Luke Harangoty last night over a table. Called him a cross-eyed fuck and got the table.
He had a drawn-on fu manchu and now my vagina has one too.
In the last 2 hours I managed to have romantic starlit sex on the beach as the tide came in with not only just a gorgeous man, but one who happens to be Eastern European and finishing Harvard law school.
Oh wow. I want to be you right now.
Just did coke off my highschool yearbook. Not much has changed in 5 years.
Randomize
