Last night is one of those stories you hear about on 20/20 right after they make a law banning 90% if what I did.
but his dog just died...ill send him an edible arrangement or a 6 pack or something
I don't even know what he looks like, all i've seen of him is his dick
the rest of him looks just as crooked
My landlord wasn't pleased about the new fire pit we built him.
like we started out all organized and composed and within thirty mins people were throwing up in the bushes, arguing over a beer bong and jumping in the pool with their clothes on
He managed to light the Jello on fire...
Could someone please kill snooki before she contributes to the gene pool.
Sarah likes to play this game where she leaves her thongs at every party. she hides them where hopefully gf's will find them. I caught her naked from the waste down in my freezer this morning
Dude you have to come get or im gonna nail this 64 y/o woman as repayment for buying me shots of jager
He told me he loved me and then asked if we could have sex in the snow
I feel that shower jager is exactly what this man needs after last night.
You're a disgrace to gay men everywhere.
Guys always stop talking to me right around the point that if they bought me food a couple times I would probably have sex with them.
Ted is on HBO in 20 minutes...not sure if this or the drunken dance party I had at the bar to a N*SYNC Christmas song 20 minutes ago is the highlight of my week so far.
Of course I'm using oj as a mixer, its flu season.
i haven't seen you in two years and we have like 16 hours, all i want is cuddles, wine, and some light groping
Randomize
