I was pretty stoned. I thought I needed a seatbelt at the restaurant.
this text is just filler to avoid a lull in the conversation
This flask doesn't match my outfit. I hope the gays don't mind.
i dont feel like going...you don't know how much work goes into getting my whore on
He introduced himself to me as "the gayest gay who ever gayed." I like him already.
Do you remember snorting allspice and yelling at doughnut shop girl?
we found him. outside on the balcony, sitting on a bucket, with his pants off, swearing he was'nt taking a dump
All I could think about when I saw her was that she could be the mother of my future first round draft picks
Absinthe night with my dad again, I could get used to this being home thing.
Be proud. You give fat lesbians everywhere shower-nozzle worthy material for weeks on end.
Find a vagina and bring it to me. Like feeding a tiger.
We also had rum, but now that's all gone. Which I feel is appropriate for a pirate party.
I just had a very enlightening conversation with my hat. we need more of whatever the fuck that was.
Can someone please remind me later tonight that there's a taco in my purse. I may get drunk and forget I put it there
It's alright. I'm just trying to make her realize you're not good enough for her.
Randomize
